It’s a dark & gloomy morning in north Atlanta as I awake to the sounds of birds chirping and cars pulling out of their driveways heading to work. I’d just spent the evening meeting with the media girls and discussing life, a conversation that I should’ve postponed considering my current head space.
Nonetheless the show must go on, and my 7 year old daughter still needs a mother. So I arose a little earlier than she, just to get myself together before the hustle and bustle.
I’d hoped for a quiet morning enticed by coffee, but God had a different plan for me. A plan which included an extended shower spent starring at the wall & water, followed by an overload of lotion [because I’d failed to pay attention], and ending with me sobbing quietly. Why? Because it was in this moment that I’d realized my parachute wasn’t opening.
Most reading this are probably saying, “huh, what is this girl talking about?” And I’ll explain.
One of my many virtual mentors, Steve Harvey, always talks about the actionable JUMP! The point where God [for faith believers] has lit a fire in your soul yearning for more out of life, but in order to get there you’ll have to JUMP. Enter the gates of unknown charted waters, yet swim through without hesitation and limited fear. Because why fear when you have faith?
However, Steve warned that the JUMP would be far from easy! And in most cases, your parachute wouldn’t open right away. Hence, you’ll fall, get bruised, and even cut; but you MUST get back up and jump again with the same expectation that “maybe this time my parachute will open.”
In 2016 I felt it. It was time for me to jump into unchartered waters. I’d built a very successful entertainment brand and reputation in the DMV, yet if I wanted to experience more I’d need to move. A place not too far from home, not too hollywood-ish, normal enough to raise my daughter, yet could be very profitable for my brand. So ATLANTA it is!
It wasn’t until July of 2017 that I’d felt comfortable enough to actually take the leap and jump, and I listened to Pastor Joel Osteen for most of the 8 hour drive from Maryland to Georgia hoping that at some point God would send me a “wake-up” call. Yet nothing came!
Talk about HELL….. the first few months were just that! My daughter cried almost every day because of her discomfort, I got wrapped up into a brand that was unprofessional and unorganized, found myself back at square one after leaving the brand, struggling to attend the ATL events because I couldn’t bare leaving my child with just anyone [and I didn’t want to place pressure on my cousin whose here], going from an OVERLOAD of content to NONE at all, and having people who once admired me began to question my work ethic. IT WAS BAD!
So that morning as I cried out hoping God would somehow hear my voice and answer, I’d seemed to awaken my daughter without knowing. It wasn’t until I felt these little arms wrapped around me as I whimper, and heard her sweet voice utter, “Mom, everything will be okay”; that I’d mustered up the courage to do as Steve said and JUMP AGAIN.
My daughter is God’s blessing to me. She’s the physical form of my angel, and I appreciate God speaking through her to me in one of my most darkest hours. I realized that the sacrifice won’t be easy, but God promised that it’ll be worth it.
So jump, and once you succeed JUMP AGAIN. Do it until you feel like you’re truly living a purpose driven life!