Almost every two weeks I engage in a “no cut cards” text or telephone conversation with one of my best friends. I’ve found that it’s absolutely vital to my sanity! Nonetheless, during this call in particular we spoke about our present problems in dating and there relation to finding true love.
The fears of our 30’s, witnessing other friends get married, and repetition in dating failures have finally spooked us into assuming what’s apparent to most…… “WE’RE THE PROBLEM.”
In all areas of life, you get out of it what you pour in; and furthermore, only the “allowed” circumstances or behaviors will take place. All of which is completely true and was supported by factual evidence during our conversation, along with the undeniable fact that “hooking up” was ruining our chances of finding true love.
Many believe that one of the main reasons why millennials struggle in dating is because they are unclear of how to date. Instead, they engage in these “Netflix & Chill” situations which seem to be less about the movie and more about sex. Hence, why we’ve been crowned the “Hook-up Generation”.
At some point casual hookups became more beneficial than a relationship! Why? Because you get the sexual satisfaction without the mental hassle! Seems like a “win/win” situation right? No. Its a guarantee that with age and growth, you’ll start to yearn for more; more communication, more non-sexual intimacy, more loyalty, and more time.
All of which you’ll never receive by being a casual “hook-up”. In fact, you won’t even be respected.
Still not sure if you’re apart of the “hook-up generation” we’re describing in this post? Okay, well let’s go into a little more detail.
Ask yourself the following questions?
- Do you struggle with time-management and feel consumed with commitments, so dating falls to the wayside. Yet you still yearn for sexual attention so you make sure to stay in contact with a “few” friends just in case?
- Do you find it more common to meet at a party and/or event rather than the traditional dinner or movie?
- Would you rather “instant gratification” by meeting someone on Tinder, eHarmony, Matchmaker, Black People Meet, or any other online dating platform; rather than organically?
- Do you love independence so much that the idea of having any commitment to another person makes you feel nervous?
- Are you bold enough to know what you want, ask for it, and not want anything in return?
If you answered YES to a majority of the above listed questions, then you are more than likely apart of the “hook-up generation” and that’s okay. But understand that it’s unrealistic to complain about why you aren’t finding true love, how others are surpassing you in their relationships, etc…. when you aren’t pouring the seeds of loyalty, commitment, honestly, etc…. in order to lay a strong foundation for growth.
It’s time for millennials to begin taking their love lives as seriously as everything else, put the cellular devices down, break poor dating habits, create/maintain standards, and realize that instant gratification will never lead to lifetime happiness.