As if millennial dating isn’t hard enough, I’ve seem to run into an additional problem…..
Whose ready for a little #storytime …..
About 4 months ago, this actor [who will remain nameless] and I began chatting with one another over instant messenger. He thought I was attractive as did I……
One evening, I’d posted a video clip of myself without wearing makeup onto my IG story and not only did he repost the video to his page, but he also messaged me saying that the video was the best content on my page because I was natural.
Now y’all already know that I was READY to rip him to shreds! The attraction immediately began to fade away…..
Here’s how the exact conversation went [*actual DM’s] see below:
Male: You look so much better without makeup I swear!
Kierra: Honesty! Okayy. I like it.
Male: You do! Just being honest, you hide most of your beauty putting that stuff on. Look at your lips and skin! Like I would kiss tf outta you if I was near you in that video.
Kierra: Oh! I wear makeup for the same reason a man gets a hair cut. To look/feel good! But I understand where you’re coming from. Most men aren’t really fans!
Male: That’s not the same at all. “AT ALL” I don’t even know why you said that.
Kierra: What!!!! How?
Male: Point blank period, you hide your real beauty when you put it on because you don’t look the same with it on. We get haircuts, y’’all get y’all hair done. That’s the same comparison, what do you mean? And what made you start wearing makeup?
Kierra: It’s similar [male’s name] And it also depends on how much makeup a person wears. I’m good either way! Almost every woman in my family wears makeup. So I saw it almost everyday. However I didn’t truly start until college.
Still keeping my composure as you can see….. but my patience was wearing thin!
Male: Start a new trend to embrace real beauty again, 90% of black women wear makeup because their either followers or wear it because of their insecurities.
OH HELL TO THE NAW! Did this ninja just tell me:
To start a new trend
Generalize the reason why “BLACK” women decide to wear makeup.
Kierra: And I started because I use to suffer from acne. So instead of treating my skin [like I should have] I choose “instant gratification; which caused more issues down the line.
Male: ONCE AGAIN, makeup is “NOT” a comparison to guys getting a new haircut AT ALL. So stop saying that.
Last time I checked, I only said it once [side-eye]…. A little “high strung” ehhhhhh….
Male: Exactly, Insecurities.
Kierra: Okay, [male’s name] you may be right damnit.
Side-note: Those who know me understand that I will tell a person that their RIGHT as hell just so that they can shut up. I dislike confrontation! I’d rather walk away then waste time debating. I’m a “prove it” type of woman.
Male: Lemme bring home a woman with makeup and she take that shit off and show me something different, you’re getting tf out because I would have love to seen you before that makeup shit. Stop wearing masks out here and embrace your real beauty regardless of whatever is wrong with your skin. Y’all want a guy to accept y’all for who you are but I don’t even know what you really look like.
Kierra: You would really kick her out over makeup? Even if she had a beautiful heart/mind? Everyone comes with flaws, no ones perfect! But what I wouldn’t do is ask someone to stop doing something that makes them feel good because of my own feelings. Would I voice my opinion? Yes. Would it change my views and/or feelings for them? No. That’s just me. Compromise [male’s name]…. that’s what it’s all about.
STILL keeping my composure…. even though I wanted to cuss him TFFFFFFF out!!!!!
It was so important for me to share the EXACT conversation with you guys so that you could better understand some of the shit we as women face.
This conversation took place in May, 2018. As you can imagine this is where it ENDED, however we still remained social media friends.
At times, I’d like pictures of other females I knew and I’d see him liking the same pictures… even commenting under post. And guess what I noticed? Each woman wore makeup in the pictures.
So are you giving them the same bullshit spill? I’m just saying!
Fast forward to 4 months later, as I’m covering a red carpet the male happens to be one of the interviewees.
We kept it very professional and i interviewed him [wearing a face full of makeup proudly] …. and then I noticed his date. A “non-African American” woman with a minimal amount of makeup of course.
Now that shit BLEW ME!
Here’s the thing:
It’s okay to have a preference and “like what you like”, but don’t fucking attempt to come down on the african american woman because she’s not your type!
That’s where your wrong!
I have no problem with inter-racial relationships AT ALL….. but what you won’t do is discredit or undermine us because we choose to wear the same makeup that other races wear as well.
I dislike an arrogant, pompous, big-headed, fast talking, “see me”, know it all…. ASS NINJA!