Kierra: “Alexa play India Arie, I am not my hair!”
Exactly two  weeks ago, I had this discussion with a male who said:
I like women who choose to wear their natural hair versus the weave/wigs. I just don’t understand why it’s needed.
As a lover of ALL things “weave & wig”, I was offended almost immediately!
But it wasn’t as a result of his personal preference, because everyone is entitled to their own opinion. However I was offended by the minimal amount of ignorance which resides within the blanket statement.
I responded to this man with the following:
See this is what grinds my gears sometimes! Instead of asking the woman why she decides to wear the weave and wig [in casual conversation of course], you automatically assume that she’s insecure and ashamed of what’s underneath the fake.
And while this may be the case for some, it’s not the case for ALL.
I then told him to ask me why I decide to wear weave and wigs all the time, which of course he did and I responded with the following:
I love wearing weaves and wigs because I have alopecia. Do you know what alopecia is? It’s an autoimmune disease where your immune system attacks your own body, in which case… causes sudden hair loss.
It’s different for everyone. Some people lose all of their hair while other lose hair in patches.
Alopecia can’t be cured, but it can be treated.
I have tension alopecia. So I experience hair loss on stress points, which are: my sides, the back of my hair, and the middle of my head…. in large amounts.
Yes I was offered alopecia shots, but I declined out of fear.
Would I love to wear my hair out? Yes.
Would I love to have braids installed? Hell Yes.
Would I love to just wake up and go? Of course.
But is it possible right now? NO.
Well yes, but I wouldn’t feel comfortable.
Paying HUNDREDS of dollars on hair every few months isn’t the most ideal situation for me, but it’s one that I have to do in order to not be judged in this industry and feel good about myself.
So yes, as I explained to this man, I get extremely defensive when people generalize or criticize women who wear weaves/ wigs [and even makeup] without truly knowing their story.
Actually it’s ANNOYING AS FUCK!
How about you get to know the person?! It’s a rhetorical question
Those who know me, understand that underneath all of the hair and makeup…. I have a heart of gold! I am a woman of God, a mother, sister, friend, business owner, and lover of LOVE.
The EXTRA doesn’t define me!
One of my best friends has alopecia and she is BEAUTIFUL! Instead of the wigs and weaves, she decided to embrace her beauty and wear a bald head. And those around her LOVE her bald head.
Now I don’t have total hair loss, but I’ve thought about shaving my head as a ‘freeing’ experience.
Moral of the story: Don’t be so quick to judge/assume. Ask the necessary questions for a better understanding. And furthermore, take the time out to get to know the PERSON under the hair.
Shameless Plug: Check out Sanaa Lathan in the Netflix original movie, “Nappily Ever After” [See the trailer below]
Don’t let the hair wear you, YOU wear the hair!